CranialSpasm

Admittedly, this is making light of the dark, but who doesn’t have a morbid sense of humor?

Josh: This is one of the sh!ttiest ads I’ve ever seen. WTF?

Paul: Haha.
Obituaries, February 23, 2012
FATHER, 1945-2012
FATHER was a really wonderful person. FATHER was well liked in his community. FATHER touched so many lives and worked very hard at the GENERIC FOOD PRODUCTS FACTORY, owned by OWNER BOSS. OWNER BOSS remarked upon hearing of FATHER’S passing, “FATHER was very proficient at making the GENERIC FOOD PRODUCTS.” When he retired, FATHER spent his days playing PARLOR GAMES and LEISURE SPORTS, which he enjoyed greatly. FATHER is survived by MOTHER, DAUGHTER, SON, DAUGHTER, DAUGHTER and BROWN DOG. Services will be held at FUNERAL HOME.

Marissa: Hahahahahahhahah
by MOTHER, DAUGHTER, SON, DAUGHTER and DAUGHTER are all SAD. BROWN DOG is still looking for his bone. He doesn’t know it was buried with FATHER

Paul: GRUMPY GRUDGE HOLDING NEIGHBOR could not care less about FATHER’S death

Seth: Is this guy related to LOCAL MAN who is always in the news?

Marissa: Oh man, don’t talk about LOCAL MAN…him and FATHER did NOT get along at all. Father once tried to sell MOTORIZED SNOW REMOVAL EQUIPMENT to LOCAL MAN and LOCAL MAN never used PAPER MONEY to compensate. It was a mess

Paul: Yes, which led to ATTEMPTED HOMICIDE with SHOVEL

Seth: Fix’d
Yes, which led to CRIME with WEAPON

Record Club: Florence + the Machine – Lungs

Preconceptions:

I’ve heard a few of their songs before.

Tracks:

Dog Days Are Over – It is continual proof that I enjoy repetitive hand clapping in songs.

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) – It sounds like Imogen Heap, Annie Lenox and a less-Bjorky Bjork got together to sing over a Laurie Anderson experiment.

I’m Not Calling You a Liar – Did Missy Higgins and Ingrid Michaelson have a baby?

Howl – The synth in the background makes me long for a shiny satin jacket and the caterwauling ofFlorence reminds me that Fiona Apple’s monthly sandwich should be administered soon. .

Kiss With a Fist – Kimya Dawson and Melanie join the Runaways! Come one, come all!

Girl With One Eye – Oh how I wish Imelda May was singing this. The lazy rockabilly strumming behind it would be amazing with that Irish lasses voice instead of Beaker from the Muppet show articulating.

Drumming Song – Not enough drumming. False advertising.

Between Two Lungs – A beginner tap class favorite! I do dig the heartbeat feel to the percussion until it starts to introduce the tambourine. That is what we in the medical field would call “atrial flutter/fibrillation”. GRAB THE PADDLES!

Cosmic Love – If it hasn’t been on a CW show yet… It’s going to be.

My Boy Builds Coffins – It has a Natalie Merchant feel if she was being directed by Colin Hay (Men at Work).

Hurricane Drink – This sounds like a soundtrack song for an early 90s Sarah Jessica Parker quirky romantic comedy or a mid 90s song for a Sarah Michelle Gellar film. I think that single three named Sarahs have decided that this is their anthem. Actually, as I listen to the lyrics and it’s talking about “drinking yourself to death”… Wow. I misshot that one.

Blinding – Opening a song with a bunch of guitar plucking makes me really nervous. I guess it’s an odd sense of dread brought upon but the simple plucking of string instruments in horror movies that make me want to immediately attack someone that is approaching me. That is why there must not be a harp if I am in a wedding. It’s in my bridesmaid rider. 

You’ve Got The Love – A little Adele “Right As Rain” bounce to the opener. Honestly? I’m tired of her voice now. I need to stop this and then try to listen to this song after I’ve had a bit of a breather.

After Listening:

I’ve pretty much decided that Florence has such a distinctive voice I initially didn’t know if she’d be anything without the Machine. After the album I think she sounds like the singer from the Cranberries collaborating with Polyphonic Spree. Thank all that is holy that the songs aren’t the length of the PS albums. It is very reminiscent of all of these squeaky “faux-feminist” artists now – Regina Spektor, Ingrid Michaelson, Sarah Bareilles, Tori Amos, Missy Higgins, the chick from A Fine Frenzy, Jewel… I cannot believe that this does it for me. I think it might be the hidden angry, bitter, jaded chick deep inside of me that is cynical but also carries this hope that there is someone on a white horse ready to fight dragons… I hate that b***h.

I think the saddest part is that I feel cheap for making fun of this when I completely dig most of the harmonies and melodies…

Favorite track/tracks:

Dog Days Are Over

Kiss With a Fist

Least favorite track/tracks:

Girl With One Eye – I really would love this if it was covered by someone else. Like me.

Overall (1-5 stars):   4

To read more opinions on albums like these, please visit listenatwork.wordpress.com

Record Club: The Kinks – Give the People What They Want

Preconceptions:

I probably should be listening to these albums, right? They did Lola? Although, I actually enjoy the Weird Al version a little better, what with it being about a wrinkled green teacher of jedi mastery. I think I confuse them with the band that sings “The Village Green Preservation Society”… No wait… That is them.

After Listening:

I was moderately surprised at how fun the songs were. Granted, the only two songs I knew of theirs were pretty yawny. I like them anyways. Oh goodness they sound perfectly British in “Art Lover”. PERFECTLY! Also… “Flasher in a raincoat” and “dirty old man” are some possible subtitles for my Jon Waters biography.

Favorite track/tracks:

Around the Dial – Not  a super big fan of the radio dial switching in the beginning and the chorus sounds like something I have heard before either being sung by the Violent Femmes or Flaming Lips. Still, it has a 80s High School movie montage feel to it. If I were an idiot, I would make a fan vid of it for that Christian Slater classic Pump Up The Volume. I always wanted to be Samantha Mathis… until Little Women (YES. I even wanted to be her in Super Mario Bros).

Destroyer – It’s got a “Hello… I love you won’t you tell me your name” kind of feel that I super dig.  

Least favorite track/tracks:

Killer’s Eyes – I think I stopped paying attention to this song as it was playing. But it kind of made me think about how Samantha Mathis was in American Psycho.

Back to Front – “Hey, I’m the writer of this song. I’m going to rhyme a bunch of things at a slow pace to make this sound like a kids playground tease and then kill you with some sweet guitar licks.” ß In my brain, this dude has a nerd lisp.

Overall (1-5 stars):  4.5

Extra Credit: Watch Ferngully… Samantha Mathis.

To read more opinions on albums like these, please visit listenatwork.wordpress.com

Record Club: Noisettes – Wild Young Hearts

Preconceptions:

Well… This was one of my picks, actually. It’s amazing. I actually found this band because they did a cover of the Killers – When You Were Young for Liquid Lounge. I then figured out that the woman’s voice was like Adele, Duffy, and Eartha Kitt were spliced together. Also? She has hair that is weird and I preliminary judge an album like it’s art. GARY OLDMAN DRACULA hair on the front cover? Um… Hello? Awesome.

I’m probably going to get some teasing for my ability to enjoy dance beats with ridiculous cowbell breaks, but frankly… I’ve known Seth long enough to know that he knows I’m a bit… off. Marissa was probably bouncing along to the music anyways.

I love music. Anything I can get my hands on (typically).

After Listening:

I don’t actually listen to all of this CD on a regular basis. I have a few go to songs when I decide it’s Noisettes time. I forgot how much I really enjoy this album in its entirety.

Favorite track/tracks:

Saturday Night – Any song that within 20 seconds uses the word “Shenanigans” is always right in my book.

Atticus – It sounds like a folky children’s song, but the lyrics are incredibly dark.

Least favorite track/tracks:

CHECK YO SELF!

Overall (1-5 stars):  5! BOOSH!

To read more opinions on albums like these, please visit listenatwork.wordpress.com

RC: *NSYNC – Home For Christmas

Preconceptions:
Alright. I’ve never actually listened to an *NSYNC album in it’s entirety, but that Timberlake was pretty funny with D**k in a Box (and subsequent songs with Andy Samberg) so this may be bearable.

After Listening:
They’re no New Kids on the Block (I typed that and laughed at the same time), but it’s pretty predictable in boyband harmony and song composition. It’s pretty amazing how that guys hair looks like one of those fiberoptic lamps I got one Christmas. I bet it hurt when pieces of his hair embedded in your skin too.

Oh man. Most of this is new music… and none of it is balls out amazing. That’s what happens when I judge a d**k by the box it’s wrapped in.

I know it sounds ridiculous to say as it’s a CHRISTMAS album, but this was very Christianity centric. I didn’t know that I was getting into a very religious group of songs. I assumed it was going to be winter-centric, but there was a lot of the JC up in this Bethlahizzle.

Favorite track/tracks:
O Holy Night (A Cappella) – I completely adore a capella music. Though the build up to the beginning could have been shorter.

Least favorite track/tracks:
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays

Overall (1-5 stars):   1

Record Club: Neko Case – Middle Cyclone

Preconceptions:

Is this that R&B dude whose CD I won from 101.3 because I entertained one of the DJs for about a half an hour? Ugh. I think I ended up not even listening to any of that five pack. What a waste of an afternoon… driving down 15 to just pick up a rubber-banded stack of uninteresting.

After Listening:

Okay I was way off. That’s Ne-Yo. This singer sounds a bit like Shirley Manson if she were Florence from Florence and the Machine with a tint of throwing away vibrato-less tone like Missy Higgins. It has a Dogs Die in Hot Cars feel and I really enjoy the use of strings in The Next Time You Say “Forever”. She sounds a little like Natalie Merchant in I’m An Animal. The playlist progresses into various styles of “white folk singers that want to be rock stars”. It feels like a few songs might be added to my massive playlist for moving across country.

Favorite track/tracks:

Never Turn Your Back on Mother Earth – Okay, I will admit that I didn’t actually pay attention when I was initially listening to it and immediately snapped my head towards the speaker when I thought I heard “Never turn your back on Middle Earth”. I was all “YEAH! HOBBITS!” Turns out I’m slightly braindead today.

Magpie To The Morning – It’s such a lazy song with interesting melody. If there was a film of me gardening, I would like this to be its underscore. But I don’t garden. I get weirded out by dirt.   

Prison Girls – I didn’t think I would like this song by the title alone, but I really dig the creepy instrumental and the warbling Jefferson Airplane vocals in it. I couldn’t care less about the lyrics.

Least favorite track/tracks:

Middle Cyclone – It is VERY rare that I enjoy the sound of a Jack-In-The-Box. This was not one of the positive times. It brought me back to the time I was sleeping over a friend’s house and her music box sounded like it and she had a My Buddy doll AND a Kid Sister doll which looks very much like a Chucky doll.

Marais La Nuit – You want to know what my music doesn’t need? 30 minutes of environs chirping their hearts out. It is completely self indulgent bull where someone goes “I want to sound artsy”. While I understand that my taste in art itself contradicts this statement as I completely adore Abramovic’s work because it is so weird, it’s heaps different than having a bunch of high pitched squeaks invade my ears. With Abramovic I can look away. If this is playing in an Anthropologie when I am in it I guarantee you I will stab someone with a doorknob.

Overall (1-5 stars):  2.75

While I enjoyed most of it while listening to it, it’s not something that I think I’ll listen to again. I think I might pull some songs to my playlist.

To read more opinions on albums like these, please visit listenatwork.wordpress.com