Recently, I have read and witnessed some incredibly childish things on and regarding the internet. Cyber-bullying and such.
Frankly, it’s ridiculous.
People, in general, are insecure. Don’t deny it, there is something about yourself that you don’t like or can’t control. It bothers you. I’m sure if I spent about fifteen minutes with you I could locate that one insecurity and point it out. But why would I want to?
Some inflammatory remarks were made about a friend of mine on a very public forum. Let’s call her Lena. Lena had been worried for awhile that she was slowly being edged out of a circle of friends that she had created. Two of the girls in the circle (I’ll name them Terry and Kim as I have no clue who they actually are) starting hanging out exclusively and not inviting Lena along.
Lena thought it was malicious in nature, but I (being uncharacteristically optimistic) told her that sometimes people click in different ways. It didn’t mean that they didn’t like her. They didn’t want to make her feel like they were making her do something she didn’t want to do. I’ve done it, Lena’s done it, and it’s been done to me. So she thanked me for the input and I thought I had heard the last of it.
This morning I come to find out that Terry had posted some negative comments about Lena’s weight on a social site, for everyone to read. Okay, first off? Lena? Not a heavy girl. Secondly, the only person that anyone should listen to about the issue of weight should be at a desk with a fucking doctorate sitting on their god damned wall.
It seems insane to me that people will point out a woman’s deepest insecurities to make themselves feel better. Here are things that you should never say. If you find them coming out of your mouth (or being posted on a public fucking site), smack yourself or find someone to do it for you.
“You’re only pretty with makeup.”
“You’d be so pretty if you’d only [insert some type of grooming/dressing]”
“You’re such a pig.”
“Us fat girls have to stick together.” (Yep. I really hate it when someone classifies you in a group to make themselves feel less self conscious.)
Also, if you threaten a woman’s intelligence or their parenting, you’re a fuckface.
In this day and age, the ability to share your opinions becomes easier. Add in the buffer that you’re typing those thoughts instead of saying them to the person’s face, it is leagues easier to put someone down.
I’ll be the first person to support the First Amendment, but if our forefathers saw the drivel spouting from some people’s lips because they “can”… They’d be ashamed of the warping of something that was meant to support our ability to share VALUABLE opinions.
When you publicly slander someone, you do it with the intention of making them feel bad about themselves. What you don’t realize is that in the process… YOU make yourself the asshole. You seem petty and cruel.
Whether or not you felt you had a purpose in doing something like that, the only thing you effectively do is make yourself the villain. I’m not talking about the cool, calculated villain that attacks someone with a sophisticated plan. I’m talking about Shredder’s Footsoldiers, the nameless Cobra employees, the Kingpin’s henchmen. That’s right. By mounting such an obvious attack, you become the expendable one.
Imagine Kim and Terry’s surprise when they entered a group activity and had people glaring at them like they were diseased. You want to know why they looked at you that way girls? Because you made it obvious to thousands of people on a social site that you have absolutely no discretion.
I’m glad you two found each other. You’re going to be the only friends you have.