A Letter to Myself, On My Thirtieth Birthday

So hi, future Ali. I guess at this point you’re present Ali and I’m past Ali but regardless… We’re the same person.

I just wanted to let you know that you may not be exactly where you want to be at some points in your life. No, you’re not a famous singer. No, you aren’t a famous author. No, you still can’t afford to splurge on one of those ridiculously expensive and awesome cameras with all of the attachments. No, you’re not in a relationship (wait… are you?).

Life tends to throw a bunch of detours when it comes to planning.

I just wanted to remind you (well me…) that you have come SO FAR from who you once were.


It’s not just a distance thing. Yes, you did move 3,000 miles from home and you (at this point) are flourishing. You’re making new friends. You’re experiencing new things. You’re being creative and using your imagination.


You also have started tearing down those walls you built around yourself. People are seeing more of you than most ever have.

Also you play with fire. That’s pretty cool too.


Photo by Photography.Naturally. Click on the picture and like their facebook page!

Photo by Photography.Naturally. Click on the picture and like their facebook page!

What I hope most for.. for us… is that you continue to do things that both interest and scare you. Life is what you make of it, and at the moment I’m writing this, you have just modeled for your first photoshoot. You have gone to a bunch of comedy shows (and have been recognized by the comedians… still strange, BTW.)


I know that there are people in your life that will not only defend your honor, but if they had to they would probably help you bury a body. Several WILL avenge your death, so don’t die a stupid one, okay? No falling off of the bed and rotting, only to be eaten by the ghost cats in your apartment.


Whenever you feel the urge to hide, shine. Yes, the safety blankets will be there, just resist the urge to go all hermit and grow a beard. Nevermind… grow a beard. I think you’d look absolutely smashing.

No, you’re not a famous singer. But you do have people that watch you on youtube when you play the ukulele and you love karaoke with friends. You even sing jazz with a live band every now and again. You should do that more.

No, you’re not a famous author. But you do write, have ideas, tell stories, and generally entertain people.

No, you can’t buy a camera. But you do have your own apartment, food, and so many coffee places you probably need to stop going to them. You also will get there in time. See how many people would be willing to chip in. Start a gofundme or something.

No, you’re not in a relationship (or you are… I have no idea). But… I’m gonna get cryptic here. B-o-D, fondue, borrowed voice, UBG… There are people. Relationships are scary and as I’m writing this I know I’m not in one for a reason.

You waited so long to start really living.


Happy Birthday, asshole. You get to see your parents in a few days!

Also get more tattoos. You like that.

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