Everything Counts

My friend posted this on a private forum a few days ago and I asked her for permission to post this and she accepted. The thing is, this is a woman that I feel incredibly honored and blessed to have met. Anyone that helped her in her darkest days immediately has a fan in me. 

Sadly, I do not have the money I would like to donate. That is why I am asking you. I rarely seriously ask for things, but if you enjoy this blog, please stop by the link at the end of this post and donate what you can or RT the crap outta this post. It would mean the world to me.

“In 2002, I left my husband after taking years of abuse from him. He kept everything. I moved into an apartment with my bed and my radio, and one of our two cars. That was later repossessed and I found out that he had been pocketing or spending the payments for over six months. (We used money orders for everything.)

After a month of that empty apartment, I got depressed. Then, I started thinking that it would be very easy for someone to clean out my apartment if I was dead in there, since I had no furniture.

One night, I sat on my living room floor and filled about half the pages of a dollar store spiral notebook with goodbye letters for everyone I could think of. I wrote each person a note because I am thoughtful that way.

The next day, I went to work with a plan to pick up refills of my prescription drugs and swallow all of them when I got home. I was not afraid or sad. I felt fine. Numb, maybe.

I worked in a tiny office. We shared long folding tables instead of having desks. There were about ten of us in one room. My boss had to take the employees outside to talk to any one of us privately. Which is what she did to me around 10:00 that morning.

She knew. She knew something was up, and she was the only person in my life who said a word about it. She put me in her car, and we drove up to Fountain Hills, north of Scottsdale, and sat by the fountain at this little park and had a beer. We smoked cigarettes and she got me to tell her everything. She said she thought about suicide before, but she couldn’t stand the idea of leaving her dogs behind. She made me promise that I would never do a thing like that without calling her first.

That little bit of caring made a huge difference. We had not been friends at all up to that point. Now, we have been very close friends for over ten years. I moved to Utah, and she has no one to be there with her.

Which brings me to the begging. She’s been in the hospital and back out, and had to miss time at work. She’s gone back to work (at Home Depot–impressive for a woman missing a bunch of connective tissue in her shoulder, thanks to Lupus) but the bills have gotten too far out of hand.

She has help coming in a month, so she needs help for one month. Her car is broken down and she needs help with the deductible. I am not good at this kind of thing, but I have to try for her sake. $5 would be awesome. More, better. I don’t have it to give to her, so I’m begging on her behalf.

I appreciate anything you can do. The despair and hopelessness is eating her up.

Thanks.  Colleen’s GoFundMe page

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