30 shades of flannel.
Put a blacklight under the table and it’s like the billion boy battlefield.
*sung* Milo Ventimiglia- ah ha!
The only thing hot about her is that she has the psycho killer eyes.
If you could fist your earrings, you’re probably a whore.
Ash: I’m gonna kill you.
Steve: I always figured you would one day.
Ash: Stake to the heart!
Ali: Yep. That’s how you solve AIDS.
Jess: I wanna get my tonsils taken out so I can get free ice-cream.
Ali: Really? ‘Cause we’re going to get some free right now and you don’t need surgery.
Jess: I don’t want you calling me and saying that you got hurt from a volcano.
Mom: “I wish my eye would stop tearing.”
Ali: “Well stop putting your fingers in it!”
Jess: My mom doesn’t get sarcasm
Ali: Yes she does! You’re not doing it right.
They are just letting you know that bears have happened to cross the street.
I’m smarter than a seventh grader, I just don’t know facts.
You’d be amazed at how tired you get when there is nothing to do.
Mom: Who would come from a different state to come here?
Laura: We did.
Mom: Have you ever seen a porcupine?
Jess: Yeah. Dead.
They must have a lot of oxygen in this state because they have so many trees.
I’m gonna write that down! … You got a pen I can use?
The car rules are written on the outside of the car.
Laura: It’s been four miles since that “Moose Crossing for the next four miles.”
Ali: You should call Vermont and scream “THIS IS BULLSHIT!”
I wanna see a moose.
From Florida, take an east.
Do you have a gun we can borrow?
Ash: You should be serving us.
Steve: I can serve you smiles.
I do not live in a family of puppies.
Rust is luxurious… If you’re into high-end steampunk.
You are like the vampire of fun.
Nothing beats a good interoffice skull-fucking.
You can punch yourself in the back of the head, but it’s better when it’s unexpected. It’s like a surprise party that may cause brain damage.