Let’s face it. Some days are worse than others. Today I have found that it has taken every ounce of my being to not tear into someone at the slightest provocation.
In my past, I would have moments where I would be tempted to lash out and would gladly give into it. I reveled in influencing someone else with my negativity. I was that real life troll that would love seeing the reaction of hurt on someone’s face and then I would consider it a challenge to make everything okay again. However, the people that don’t have to love you shouldn’t have to put up with that.
BUT… I really want to do that today. My brain is telling me to tap into my über bitch and unleash all of this pent up rage. It’ll be healthier if you do, my anger-goblin has been whispering in my ear. Making someone feel bad will probably prevent you from getting cancer.
My inner goblin monologue is stupid. But I believe that it is motivated by primitive instincts. I think that’s the part of the brain where it’s located. Also, it’s a goblin so it’s adorable and illustrated by Brian Froud and brought to life by Henson studios.
It’s been awhile since I have really been as angry about nothing as I am at this moment. The slightest provocation would be horrible right now. Logically I don’t want to make anyone cry because of something I’ve said. But instinctively I really want to tell someone something incredibly hurtful about their personality and make them suffer like I feel like I am right now.
Instead, I am trying to distract my brain by online shopping. The best part about it is that I just add a bunch of things to wish lists because I’m moving and really don’t want to pay more money to move a bunch of shit that hasn’t made me happy. So even though my fury is encouraging me to BUY BUY BUY, I at least have a bit of logic controlling my trigger finger on the mouse.
It is a bit boring populating a hypothetical domicle though so I might switch to google imaging “cats in hats” or spend a few hours trying to find something to take my mind off of it. Maybe some stupid video game that doesn’t require thought because intelli-Ali is MIA right now.
How do you deal with the rage-goblin inside you? Do you stab the homeless? Do you tickle the elderly? Do you have shout time inside your car during your morning commute (and do the people in your carpool cry?)? Do you listen to a bunch of podcasts where people will rant about things that will make you feel better? Do you watch countless youtube videos of kittens filmed in Japan (because somehow Japanese kittens are TOTALLY cuter)?
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