Dear Body, Catch the funk up. Love, Ali
Yeah, so even though the clock says 11pm, my body is telling me it’s after 2AM. So i kind of understand how R. Kelly was feeling when he wrote “Bump N Grind”… Even though time and sex aren’t mutually exclusive.
So for some reason when we got back to the apartment after spending a lovely evening with Fred and Molly, I started sending Murf links to deviant art pages where the artist has done Calvin Klein style pinup renderings of Disney heroes.
For those of you thinking “that actually exists?”
You… are… welcome.
While I know that getting accustomed to the time shift here is pretty much the stupidest thing I could do (as I’m going to have to go back to work within twelve hours of my return home), I still find myself satisfying the urge of staying awake. It’s more of a desire to stay awake and type next to someone that is on their laptop instead of typing in the morning (and I also find that I’m funnier when I’m exhausted).
Though I have done some touristy shite while I’ve been out here, I’d like to think that I have been taking some time for myself to just… be.
The best part of vacation for me is the opportunity to decompress and really take stock in why I am so miserable.
This is why I think people should pay me to be awesome. Really. It works for a lot of people and I would be lying if I told you that this entire sauce of awesome is effortless. No. Typing is very strenuous work. Also I have to remember to write things down which is an uber pain in the bottom. Uh… and while I am doing this I am not doing things that are completely for me, like image searching disney fan art and drooling at the boys in briefs, or the zombie princesses.
In all fairness I started by doing a wallpaper search for my computer but my brain decided that was a bad idea and that dicking around was a good one. So I just spent two hours looking at pictures. These are two hours of life that I could have been paid for doing something like that. So… get your shit together, internet. Mama needs a new tattoo (Not a joke. That will probably happen within the next few days. I have the itch for ink.)
On my facebook page last night (or was it two nights ago?) I posted the query “Is the plural of uterus uteruses or uteri? Example sentence: “Startling news today. Thousands of [plural version uterus] appeared in piles on the coast of Madagascar. Full story at eleven.” What resulted was the best string of comments on my page that I have seen in quite some time. It also made me realize that I’m a horrible person for not visiting Dru in the last six years. I had so much fun during SAD2005.
That was where my initial experiment of “meet people from the internet that live far away” began. My friend Jackie and I flew from Connecticut to Washington to meet up with a girl we spent years playing Puzzle Pirates with. If that doesn’t establish some nerd cred, y’all can do scupper yourself. While we were there we did many things that I forgot because I spent the majority of my time in a drunken stupor. ONE OF THE PLACES HAD A BUCKET OF RUM! A BUCKET! And they let you drink it yourself. There was karaoke, the Science Fiction museum, chilling with the Troll under the bridge, drinking, merriment, and tons of hugs. I didn’t want to leave!
Memories are fun. Remember when they were hard to keep track of? Now there are things like Faceyspace and MyBook and Flixbucket and Vimootube… So many places to put things. SOOOOOO MANY! I find that I end up losing track of the countless social sites I’m on then the memories from vacations. But that’s probably because I get updates that say “so and so posted your drunk ass on their account and tagged you in it”.
I don’t know where I was going with this. I DO know that I am completely exhausted and that I should probably lock my eyes closed for a little while. Tomorrow is another day and we are doing… something. Possibly taxidermy. Maybe flower gardens.
I wonder if there’s a Groupon for either of those.
Let’s all go to bed, okay? On the count of three!!!
sdkl;dlkjafs:flkcj czx:LKfcnz Dlfke;liasdnassammich.