A friend and I were talking and I mentioned my friend Dillon making me laugh. Dillon is a friend that I met on the internet and haven’t met in person yet. Probably because if we did, I might rub his moustache like those assholes that rub people’s buzzcuts.
Anyways… What resulted was an incredibly fun discussion that I am sharing with you now.
… No wait… Now!
… … now?
… … … Here ya go. #BlogTease
Ali: HAHAHA! I totally heart Dillon. Hopefully I get to meet him before I leave the East coast (He lives in Lowell, MA)
Elfie: [MIA Friend] met a MAN from the INTERNET once. then she got all stinky and now she’s in a well. DO YOU WANT TO BE IN A WELL?!
Ali: I’ve met several men from the internet. I haven’t had the sexy times with any of them, but I would with some of the ones I’ve met.
Elfie: well that’s fine, but if you cut off contact with me, I am not looking in any wells for you. (but I will totally look for you in wells if you tell me you need me to.)
Ali: If I ever disappear I damn well expect you to burn every well to the ground and I realize that they have water in them and are brick so it will be problematic but you are smart and can probably figure out how to make water catch fire. Not with magic. We lost that after highschool, what with that wicked queen binding our powers. But you can do it with SCIENCE!
Elfie: SCIENCE! BURN ALL THE WELLS!
Elfie: wait… if you’re IN the well and I burn it….
Ali: I have realized my error, but there is no turning back now. I just hope you can live with burning me to cinders. IT IS FOR THE GOOD OF HUMANITY!
Wait… On second thought… Water is kinda necessary, right? I really don’t want Elfie Water Vengeance to result in the world being turned into a shitty Kevin Costner movie where people have to drink pee.
Elfie: Waterworld was too much water, wasn’t it? Tank Girl was too little.
Or Dances With Wolves was an even weirder movie than I remember…
Ali: Yes, but even though TG was too little water, it had just enough Malcolm MacDowell.
Elfie: and what I was going to say is NSFW so I shan’t make any insinuations about ensuing moisture on your part.
Ali: I really do have irrational crushes on wicked older dudes. Malcolm MacDowell and John Hurt. But it’s more of a “their voices are so lovely I may fall into a healthy 7 hours of sleep” crush.
Elfie: there is nothing wrong with that. I can’t think of anyone we know who would disagree…
Ali: I think the moral of this conversational thread is that I am prone to tantrums due to lack of sleep. And Waterworld was a TERRIBLE movie.
Ali: … and we really need to hunt down that witch to get our powers back. Then there’s no way I would be trapped in a well. NOBODY puts baby in a well.
Elfie: don’t cross the plotlines!
Ali: I don’t know if plotlines work the same as proton packs.
Elfie: let’s not take any chances.
Ali: Yep. Let’s just tell everyone we’re Gods.
Admittedly, I haven’t really been writing a lot on the blog. I’ve been lax in writing because there have been a lot of personal demons I’m trying to work through. It’s not something that I can completely delve into, because it’s an amalgamation of things. A “Voltron of suck” if you will.
Mid May is a really rough time for me. I lost someone that I really admired three years ago and I had forgotten about it until I realized that the date had passed. I can still remember where I was and what I was doing when I got the news. I was at a stop light and got an email. The light turned green and I took a left turn and drove to my parents house to spend time with our old cat. They were in Hawaii, so when I got to the house I called my dad. As soon as he answered I burst into tears.
I don’t do that often. I tend to compartmentalize sadness and push it away. So, of course, I terrified my father. He waited for me to be able to pull myself together and I told him that our friend had passed away and he compartmentalized for me. As I think about it now, I think that my brain knew that something of note was anniversaried this week so it instinctively forced me to retreat.
The downfall of retreating into my own head is that, even though my imagination is vast and entertaining, there are a lot of monsters. After a week of feeling like I’m playing hide and go seek and wondering why no one had found me, I realized that childhood game is only an effective means of escape when someone knows that they need to look for you.
I thought that as long as I had Twitter and Facebook, I couldn’t go too crazy. I spent the time lurking and making minimal comments to things. It was like an out of body experience where you’re not visiting yourself. Escaping from physical reality and losing myself in Netflix and cyber-reality has been a bit perilous.
Dave Anthony tweeted a few days ago “The Borg actually started as a social media site”, and it’s been mulling around my brain ever since. As a society, we have become very similar to the Borg. For those of you that don’t know what the Borg are, they are cybernetic organisms in the Star Trek universe that try to force people to connect to a hive mind.
Tonight I am going to a friend’s house to hang out. Looking back, the last time that I sat in a room with someone and hugged someone was Sunday. It hasn’t felt like I have isolated myself for five days. After all, I have friends in my phone or computer. I Skyped with a friend in the UK and we waved at each other. I have podcasts where I’m not actually involved in them, but feel like I am.
Human interaction is essential. It really is. In late July, I’m going to need to remind myself that I need to get out and do things.
As it is, my weekends for the next month are filling up with human interaction.
– I have family coming in from Georgia to spend some time with us.
– All of my friends are getting together to hang out.
– I’m going to see some of my summer family.
– I’m going to spend a week road tripping across the country with my mom.
The future is looking incredibly bright. I can see it through the darkness, like a thousand stars sparkling on a summer evening.
Time to stop being selfish and start being awesome. Many thanks to everyone that have made me laugh the last few days. I’ve really needed it.