QFP March: Leftovertures

Bro: “How does Wil Smith get so much work?”
Drew: “By being the whitest black guy.”
3/3/2012

That’s what I picture the Titanic would be if they survived a few more hours.
ChrisS 3/3/12 [Oregon Trail]

It IS a big penis.
Ali 3/3/12

If I knew this was a witch hunt, I would have brought my grimoire.
Pat 3/3/12

She’s practically stapled her labia to him.
Thom 3/5/12

He was round bellied and stupid eyed.
Jeri 3/5/12

She had big Mariah Carey hands.
Thom 3/5/12

Curiously stronger than vaginas?
Bro 3/8/12

Ray: “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
Chad: “The heart is dumb”
3/9/2012

It’s like really rough sex in a pool.
AshleyS 3/10/12

It’s the LL Cool J of cars.
Ali 3/16/12

I don’t know the difference between gladiators and jails.
Jeri 3/19/12

Josh: How old was the Christian Slater character in the book?
Ali: CHRISTIAN SLATER IS IN THIS BOOK?
[RC] 3/21/12 (Book: The Name of the Rose)

Ali: You’re gonna be the dad that, on Christmas morning, points at your kids wrapped presents and says “pajamas and a hologame” while talking about how Santa isn’t real.
Seth: I told everyone in my preschool that Santa wasn’t real. I was 3½. My parents were called in for a discussion.
Ali: You’re a dick.
[RC] 3/21/12

Thanks a lot, I only have a verb named after me because I don’t like when people do that, but whatever it’s fine.
[RC] Seth 3/22/12

I’m going to start telling people I don’t simply have leftovers, I have Leftovertures because my meals are masterpieces (lie)
[RC] Marissa 3/22/12

Seth: All the pianos in Heaven are white.
Ali: I learned that from Happy Gilmore.
[RC] 3/22/12

Taupe…what a waste of a color. I guess I’d take the 70s Avocado. Although I wish they had what my mother referred to as “baby sh*t gold”, the other prominent color of the 70s
[RC] Marissa 3/22/12

Wait… did Moses lead the American Revolution? That guy looks like he’s about to take the troops across the Red Delaware.
[RC] Marissa 3/22/12

Ali: A woman just told me that she pays us so we’d damn well better come later in the day. I said “a lot of people pay us. that’s why we’re there so early.”
Seth: Greatest generation my butt.
3/22/2012

Dude, nobody likes a skort.
Pat 3/23/12

*sung* Zombies, zombies everywhere… Zombies zombies in my hair… *spoken* They’re trying to get at my brains.
Steve 3/28/12

I’m not angry, I’m just drinking
Steve 3/30/12

Ali: It’s your turn, ass face.
Steve: I’m going… I don’t like that I answered to that.
3/30/2012

Steve for President 2012: Count on evil.
Ali 3/30/12

Ash: I invoke the rule of sanctuary!
Steve: Point it out to me in the rules of Sorry.
3/30/2012

You’re a cunt monger
Ash 3/30/12

If you’ve ever had a period, take the penalty.
Steve 3/30/12